Reviewed March 5, 2006.
Crown Publishers, New York,
2006. 229 pages.
Available at Sembach Library
(MCN 814 BAR).
This was the
funniest book by
Dave Barry that I’ve read yet. Perhaps I
found it particularly funny because the day it came to the library, I
was to
attend an informational meeting about applying for financial aid for my
son to
go to college.
If only I’d
gotten Dave
Barry’s advice earlier! He says, “So we
know that sending your child to a good school will cost a lot of money. What does this mean? It
means that, as a responsible parent, you
need to start planning now. I don’t
mean planning how to pay for a good college: I
mean planning how to get your child to go to a mediocre
or actively
bad college.”
I can’t help
but think my
sons might like this approach. “Your
best bet, of course, is low grades. A
child with a crappy grade-point average is almost guaranteed not to get
into a
good school. But bad grades don’t just
happen by themselves. You need to
closely monitor your child’s study habits and set strict guidelines. (‘There will be no studying until after
you’ve watched your five hours of television, young man!’)”
He’s also got
a great tip to
keep your kids from moving back in with you after they’ve graduated
from
college. “Another good idea is to tell
your child: ‘You’re welcome to move back
in with us, under one condition: Dad
will cut your hair.’”
And there’s
more! Dave Barry enlightens us on why the
Tax Code
is so difficult to understand. “The
reason for this is simple: You’re not supposed to understand it. It’s
designed specifically to prevent
you from understanding it. That’s right: The truth is that the
U.S. Tax Code is written entirely in code. Hence
the name ‘Tax Code.’”
For
travelers, he explains
the airport security system. “Once you
arrive at the airport, you need to get into a line.
It doesn’t matter which line. Just
get into one. This is the heart of the
airport security
system. The idea is that when the
terrorists get to the airport, they’ll see these big lines everywhere,
and
they’ll say the hell with it and go into some other line of work, such
as
customer service. If, when you arrive at
the airport, you don’t see any lines, you should get together with
other
travelers and organize one.”
There’s some
good insight
buried in Barry’s jokes. I liked this
paragraph in the chapter, “How To Argue With Your Spouse About Money”: “But when you’re arguing, you must keep things
in perspective. No matter what
particular issue you’re arguing about, no matter how serious it seems
at the
moment, remember that in the long run, the truly important thing—all
psychologists agree on this—is that you
must win the argument. If you win,
you receive points that can be
redeemed for valuable merchandise at the Marriage Argument Prize
Redemption
Center.”
Reviews of other books by Dave Barry:
Dave
Berry Turns 40
Boogers Are My Beat
Copyright © 2006 Sondra Eklund. All
rights reserved.
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Book Reviews by Sondra Eklund
