I GOT ON THE 2019 NEWBERY COMMITTEE!!!!!
I’m working through the hard years of my life on my Project 52 project. And it’s been great to get perspective, but it’s been hard, too. Last night I read lots of old emails from my ex-husband, and those emails are packed full of words telling me all the ways I was a terrible person.
Those lines should be stale by now — but today I’m feeling down on myself.
Then I happened to post this quote that says that sometimes we need other people to show us we’re lovable. And that’s where my gracious friends have come in – reminding me that I waited so long for my husband because I loved him and I wanted to give him every possible chance to change his mind.
I see all the things I did wrong with that entire episode. (And this isn’t a surprise — those are the things Steve pointed out.) But, my gracious friends are reminding me that they see it differently.
And that helps.
Today, at the Neighborhood School Readiness Team meeting, the organizer passed on a compliment. She’d been working with a youth services manager at another Fairfax County Public Library and mentioned the Fairfax City group. This other librarian said about me that I’m a rock star! And that I do great things as a librarian!
This completely blew me away. I honestly had no idea anyone would ever talk about me that way! (Yes, it also made me think some people don’t know me very well.) But most of all — It was good to feel like my colleagues respect the work I do. (Very good!) And it was sweet of the facilitator to pass it on.
At the Crazy 8s Math Club at the library today, we had ten kids. One kid was white. I didn’t ask to be sure, but I’m pretty sure we had kids of Asian, Arabic, Hispanic, and Indian descent as well. I heard one girl explaining that her parents were from two different countries, but I didn’t catch which one her father was from — the mother was from India. (The girl said this with a completely American accent.)
All the kids were happily playing together. I think a couple of the boys didn’t speak English real well yet, but they did know how to play with other kids.
It was just lovely to see.
I was thinking about how some of the hard things I’ve gone through in my life taught me exactly what I needed to learn.
So can’t I trust God to also teach my loved ones exactly what they need to learn without help from me?
I’m thankful for our local Christian radio station. This morning I made a list of some new songs that really encouraged me. I think I’m going to buy some CDs.
Sometimes, we need truth to be affirmed. There’s no better way to do that than through song. It gets those truths past your head and into your heart.
I love it that I literally live in a spacious place. I can go for a walk around my lake, and it’s… spacious.
Just like the verse:
“He brought me out into a spacious place.
He rescued me because he delighted in me.”
And you know what? However it turns out, that’s a very cool thing!
I was on the ballot three years ago, and missed the cut-off by 15 votes. But I’m glad now that I’ve tried again.
I was thinking of things in my life that I didn’t get the first time I tried. It took me three tries to get accepted to the William Morris Book Evaluation Seminar in 2012. It took me three tries to get to be a Cybils judge. And I applied for a job I didn’t get before I got chosen to work for Fairfax County Public Library.
I really hope it won’t take me three tries to get on the Newbery committee. I hope it will only take two tries.
But I’m happy about the possibility. And I’m happy that I tried for it again.
And honestly? This is a better time in my life. Being on the Newbery Committee, when you really need to spend every spare minute reading — for a year — would make having an Empty Nest an asset rather than something to be sad about. (Though I for one won’t mind if Murphy’s Law kicks in and I meet someone first. But if I don’t, my life will be easier.)
And did I mention I’m happy for the possibility? It just cheers me up if I start feeling down… for any reason at all.
Crazy 8s Math Club went great again today.
I love watching young children learning math concepts while having fun! It just makes me happy.